Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Chapter 22 - Discipline - Spanking vs Non-Spanking.

Spanking Vs Non Spanking Parents

(Image courtesy of Google Images)

The Subject that I am about to discuss is a bit of a controversial subject. I am not looking for an argument of what is right and wrong I am just expressing my opinion. Also I am in no way condoning violence or abuse against children.

So you've made it to the point were your baby is working his/her way into toddler hood which means.... Little one is getting into everything! So its time to start thinking discipline, while at this age most of the time taking kiddo away from whatever he/she is getting into or distracting them from the forbidden object works, you will soon be wondering what form of discipline you will be using on your little one. You may have made the decision when you first found out you were pregnant or when little one was born or even before you started having kids. Either way its time to figure out what type of disciplinarian you are.

This is were the controversy usually comes in there are two sides to the argument, you have the parents who believe that spanking is completely wrong and you have the parents who believe a little spanking never hurt anyone. But then again what works for one parent may not work for another. I've always believed that spanking is okay, it was the way I was raised, but I also know that some situations don't call for a spanking. I've been on both sides of the fence as far as using each form of discipline, I've only used spanking and I've only used the opposite. For me using one or the other does not work for me its best to use both forms of discipline. Now my biggest problem is that people think that there is something terribly wrong with you if you use spanking as a form of discipline, but I refuse to allow my children to walk all over me which is what some parents do when they use other forms of discipline. I'm not here to argue what is better or who is right and wrong because seriously no one is ever right or wrong when it comes to discipline (unless you are abusing your child). But what works for one parent may not work for another parent. Your best bet if you are not sure what form of discipline to use is to do some research on different approaches. For me I've come to the point were I use spanking as a last resort. I use time outs, talking, distraction, and loss of privileges. A lot of people who don't believe in spanking say that spanking a child causes them to be violent and out of control as they get older. But I have seen children who's parents never used spankings who were violent and out of control as they got older so there is really no right or wrong (again unless you are abusing or neglecting your child, that is completely wrong). I think my biggest complaint as far as the discipline argument goes is that the people who don't believe in spanking don't think that any person should use spanking at all. I just wonder why do people think that just because they don't believe in something that everyone should follow their rules and do what they say. I'm here to raise my kid, I'm not here to tell you how to raise yours so let me raise my kids the way I want and you can raise yours the way you want.
Sorry I got a bit heated at the end there but I do get irritated with it. Like I said everyone disciplines their kiddos differently its up to you to find what way is right for you.
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!


Jeff said...

"I just wonder why do people think that just because they don't believe in something that everyone should follow their rules and do what they say"

It's because they believe spanking to be boarder line abuse. And at this point, we move past the "I'll raise my kid, you raise your kid" argument. They feel they need to step in and protect the child.

I'm not 100% against spanking, but I've never had to use it with my daughter. A stern voice and a no nonsense approach to bad behavior I feel is a better approach. But, I know of one parent in particular who lets her two boys run wild, and they sure seem as if they could use some firm discipline.

Spanking can get out of control, and parents can let their emotions get the best of them. And that's when lines can be crossed. If you are a house with spankings, then I fear that can just become second nature. And more trivial things can result in harsh punishment, just because the parent is in a sour mood.

I'm no liberal, hippy. Kids need to be punished when they do wrong. However, I believe you can reach your kids better with a firm, consistent set of consequences to their bad actions instead of "get me the belt."

Catrina said...

I totally get what your saying. Most of the time a stern voice and no nonsense approach works with my kids, but there are moments when they just don't want to listen. I was in a house were sometimes the my mom let her emotions get the best of her and I am not proud to admit that I have been that way in the past but I have learned that, that is definatly not the type of parent I want to be and my mom is the same way. I never abused my kids but I did use to yell WAY to much and know that I don't want to be one of those parents either. I still yell sometimes but never like I use to. I've learned that if I am that mad at my kids I just send them to thier rooms that way we all have a chance to calm down. (of course I know that not all parents have that type of patients and maybe go over board). But I can definatly say I am not the type of parent that spanks with a belt or any object at all, that to me is being abusive. (but I know that using your hands can be abusive as well.)
Thank you for your comment and opinion!