Sunday, November 21, 2010

Chapter 6 - Finding time for Love

So you just had a baby and life is well.... Perfect, right? You're probably sitting there thinking yeah right are you kidding me its far from perfect! I'm in pain, I'm exhausted, I feel like I'm hemorrhaging all the blood from my body, my boobies are sore, the size of watermelons, and hard as rocks! Your in pain one way or another (depending on how you gave birth), the last thing on your mind is sex or intimacy with your significant other. You think to your self I don't even need to worry about sex for at least 6 weeks (more or less). But even though sex is going to have to wait that doesn't mean that you and your significant other can't be with eachother with out "being" with eachother.

When it was just the two of you life was so much more different, you could be intimate whenever you wanted you could do what ever you wanted, you only had the two of you to worry about. It was all about you! Things were less stressful and you slept as much as you pleased.
Now its all about baby. There is a lot of excitement about having a baby and bringing baby home and right now that's all that you can think of. When does baby need to eat, when did baby last pee/poo? Is this normal, is that normal? Your a little preoccupied with the new life that you just brought home with you. Sleep is almost non-existant.
But sometimes that excitement wears off fast. Once you bring baby home your on your own, no more nurses to help you out with any questions you may have. You can be overcome by stress pretty quickly. Once you become stressed your relationship can be compromised.
You feel like he/she doesn't understand what your going through, you just gave birth, you sore, exhausted and confused. If your getting help from your significant other things might not be so bad. But if your not getting the help you need, you may start thinking you are on your own in this and begin resenting your significant other.

He/she can't possibly know what you are going through. Your with baby all day long you need a break you need some time for yourself, but your not getting what you need and the stress is just piling on more and more.
This is were communication comes in. (remember communication is one of the most important aspects in a relationship next to trust!) Tell him/her what you are going through make sure they understand why you are so stressed, tired and what ever other emotion you are feeling. People are not mind readers so unless you flat out tell them they won't know. Don't yell, because that will be your quickest way to a fight and more stress. Calmly let them know whats going on.
Once you've gotten out what your going through and he/she is understanding what is going on with you. You can begin to work on the two of you again. Once dinner is done and things are calming down for the night, find time to just sit and talk with eachother, or to cuddle on the couch while watching tv. When your out in public together hold hands, wrap your arms around eachother. Always kiss eachother goodbye, even if you are just running to the store and will be right back, shoot even if your in the car together and you are just running in the store real quick. These little jesters may seem pointless but they will help keep that love alive.
Once its time and ready for more. Don't just jump into it, take it slow, take time to find eachother again, find what made you fall in love in the first place. Its been a while since you've been intimate, you don't want it to end as quickly as it began.

Whatever you do, don't let baby bring a wedge between the two of you. You have a family now, if you loose eachother you may loose your relationship. Don't let yourself get so stress and your relationship so strained that your family gets torn apart.

Your love life doesn't have to end just because baby arrived always find time for eachother!

Have a Great Day!

All Images are courtesy of Google Images

If you are having trouble in you relationship you may want to head over to MckMama's and check out her advice on faking it til you make it.

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