Friday, December 17, 2010

I've been trying to think about what to post today because well I have yet again hit another block. So you'll be enjoying some randomness today...
First off I am so tired! Number 4 woke up at 5am to have a bottle, no big deal she usually does this and then goes back to sleep. Except this morning she chose not to go back to sleep. She fussed and fought so I brought her back into bed with me since Daddy was going to work. I turned on Nick Jr and hoped that she would fall back to sleep or at least watch the tube so I could go back to sleep... Nope she wasn't having anything to do with that, she continued to fuss. I put her back to bed thinking okay maybe she is tired again (this was probably 6-6:30) she screamed and wasn't having it (yet again). So I brought her back to bed with me I layed down and she started screaming yet again! Obviously at this point I was beyond frustrated because I just didn't know what was wrong with her. Thankfully my father her heard screaming and since he was up decided to take her for me so I could get some more rest. She fussed some more for him and finally I told him to go ahead and give her some baby food, I really didn't want her eating her "breakfast" that early but gave him the go ahead. She ate it and stopped fussing (until she realized it was gone) but the screaming finally stopped! Now with all my other kids when we started baby food it was a slow process and they didn't mind that it was a slow process but Carly is not having it she LOVES baby food and wants more! She is not eating rice cereal because she doesn't like it she is on straight stage 1 baby food, (at 4 months old) obviously she is still getting formula though.
Now I know in my "Book" I talked about getting stressed and PPD and while I'm not saying that is what I am going through because well it was just one night of frustration. I can definatly say, that saying don't get to stressed out when baby is screaming, but that is definatly easier said then done when you are exhausted and wanting to go back to bed and baby is screaming in your face! I stayed calm to an extent, yes I got pissed, yes I got frustrated but other then getting mad there wasn't much else I could do. Even if my father hadn't taken her from me I am sure eventually I would have offered her the baby food but when you are super tired, your thought processes are a bit slower then normal.
Can you believe there is only 8 more days till Christmas? I'm getting super excited! I just can't wait to give my family thier gifts! Sure I am excited about the gifts I will get. I am more excited to see the excited on my kids faces when they open thier gifts. Of course though I still have a few items that were purchased online that I am waiting to arrive. Hopefully they get here in time.
I was a bit worried this year that I would not find matching jammies for all the girlies but I had to go for a larger size for Carly so that she could match her sisters. and although this outfit will be huge on her I hope it will still look alright.
I've been thinking alot about the contest and weightloss program that I wrote about in this post, don't forget the deadline to enter is December 31st so get your comment in before then! But anyways I have been thinking alot about it and alot of the reason I chose to wait till the beginning of the year was because well duh the holidays you certainly eat more. But I thought okay now is my time to start to preparing and I have not been doing that at all I have been snacking on unhealthy foods constantly! You know it taste so good but you feel so guilty after devoring half a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough and then 2 handfuls of multigrain pringles! I know it sounds weird but who out there does this? For some reason if I have a sweet snack I feel that I need a salty one after words how strange is that? I believe this may be my down fall once the diet begins. I think I can handle the 15 minutes exercises but its the food intake that is were I am going to fail. Of course having that kind of attitude I am destined to fail right? I know I will try my dammdest once I start but I have low expectations for myself because I always give up on things... Yep I'm one of those people, if the things that I do are not getting the results that I am looking for I stop, instead of continueing until I get the results I am looking for I just giveup! So as long as I see results from the beginning I will do great but if not I know I will give up on myself! I think that should be something else I look to change in the new year, I need to change my expectations for myself and not let myself fail at everything I do. The only thing I feel I can do good at is taking care of my kids and well when I get frustrated I feel like I am failing once again!
Oh geeze look at me now... This post has turned into a feel sorry for me for being a failure. Sorry about that....
I must go clean and other such things, we have company coming over today and I am super excited!

Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!

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