Monday, January 24, 2011

Complete Disappointment...

I'm feeling a great disappointment in myself. My expectations have been extremely high going into this new endeavor of exercising and to not get the results I am looking for right away has put me in a funk and then on top of it all I know that the reason why I am not getting the results I want is because I am not eating the way I should be and that right there my friends is a huge problem.
I'm sticking to my exercising, of course I'm not going to give that up because I am getting results from it. My problem comes in that I love food, and not to mention the fact that I live in a house with 7 other people is kinda hard to pick and choose the food that I want to buy at the grocery store. When buying food and making meals I have to think about everyone else. We try to eat healthy (especially to make a good example for the children) but its not always easy when every one in the house is picky. I guess it wouldn't be as bad on our budget if I didn't have to buy diapers for 2 kids and formula & baby food for one.
But I can't completely blame my food obsession on having to feed other people in the house because they are not the ones that make me eat, they are not the ones that choose the foods I eat and the portions I have. I do and I need to take responsibility for my own actions and do something about it.
Okay and not to mention the fact that I have been really into cooking lately thanks to the Pioneer Women and all her awesome recipes. How can I not try some of the recipes when the pictures of the food looks SO delicious! My family is enjoying me cooking because well that means none of them have to cook (haha).
I know I need to start eating better and watching my calorie and fat intake. I started walking on the treadmil today, I won't do it all the time but my dad got a treadmil so that he can exercise and figure I could use it to walk a few times a week too. which trust me is hard to do because after doing my superset B's I am wiped out, I tried doing 30 minutes of walking (to burn 300 calories) and I was only able to make it for 12 minutes (100 calories) haha, pretty bad huh? Like I have mentioned before the Fit Yummy Mummy program can really kick your ass in only 15 minutes so trying to burn another 300 calories right after that can really wear you down. So you can see why I was only able to make it for 12 minutes.
But don't worry folks I am sure you are wondering if because I am getting disappointed and feeling a bit depressed because I am not doing well (again my fault) no I am not quiting! I am very determined to keep this up! I am done with being this large, I am done with feeling this bad about myself, I am done feeling this way! I just wish I could find a good scale that doesn't suck and have to be reset all the stinking time... It very hard to get an accurate result when your scale sucks monkey butt (is a cheap piece of crap).
I guess this was just a way for me to complain and let you all know how disappointed I am in myself right now. So thankf for listening me whine....

Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't get too bummed out. Losing weight is hard. Plain and simple. Now, add 5 pregnancies on top of that, and it's even harder!! I have a weightloss goal myself - 25lbs by the time my son is 6 months old. I began my venture in the beginning of January. I do not like cooking at all, so my hubby bbqs about 10 chicken breasts, I buy the packaged salad, and make a bunch of rice or bake about 10 potatoes. I eat 6 times a day and try to exercise at least once a day - even for just 15 mins or so. Well, in 3 weeks I've lost 9 lbs. I am REALLY REALLY dedicated to eating the chicken/salad/complex carb and it seems to be paying off. My treat, twice a day, is a coffee with skim milk and sugar. I figured if I wasn't losing weight I'd cut it out, but I seem to still be losing. So, I've got another month and a half to lose 20 more lbs. I hope I can do it!! Good luck to you. Keep it up and don't get discouraged.