Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sucking it in Saturday - Week 18

Erg... That's all I have to say about that...

No I won't just leave you hanging, I'd like to but I know I can't.  I was going to come here and write about poor pitiful me, my period is due and I gave into  the temptation of food.  The cravings won and I have done horrible I am back at 181.8lbs and doing horribly, waa, waa, waa, my dog ate my homework!   But I still mean it No More Excuses, I screwed up and I have done horribly and now I am paying for it.  I guess I have gotten to that point were I am a little more comfortable with myself. I am 20lbs lighter, I look better and feel better.  I am not at my goal but I think the fact that I got this far made me a little to comfortable and I started sabotaging myself.  Making excuses as to why I was stuck, why I have no more weight loss to report for the past month (or so).  I know its my fault I know I need to just push myself harder, I guess my motivation is gone though, how can I expect to try and motivate others if my motivation has flown out the window?  Not to make more excuses but like I said before I am a emotional eater.  And currently we are trying to look for a new house for our family and well, if you have ever been house hunting and bought your own home then you know how stressful and disappointing it can be sometimes.  Especially when we put in offers on homes and they are denied, I think that is the worst part about it, thinking this is it only to be told nope, not going to happen. 
I'm still trying to find my will power and not give in to the cravings for food and most days I do okay, for a little while and then I screw up again.  I wish there was a better way to do this.  I wish I didn't have such a big hankering for peanut butter right now!  Yeah not sure were that came from but for the past week I have been craving peanut butter!  Do you know how hard it is to not give into that craving?  I do, its very difficult!  I just want to eat peanut butter sandwiches all day.  Hey but at least I have it on 45 calorie wheat bread right?  That makes it just a little better (I just keep telling myself). 
So as you can see no real Sucking it in Saturday this week.  Just a poor excuse for a post on how I keep screwing up and keep myself from loosing weight.  I hope that I will have better news next week and that maybe, just maybe I will have my act together and be back on track and not screwing up all the dang time.  I need to just get back at it and stop screwing up. 
So for now, I hope you all are doing well and not as poorly as myself.

Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!

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