Wednesday, July 6, 2011
SURPRISE!!
But aside from the disappointment I did have a good time with my true freinds and family! We hung out, we talked, we jumped on the tramoline (haha yes I jumped on the trampoline!!)
So here is to the big 30!
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!!
Catrina
Monday, June 27, 2011
Excuses and a New Family Activity...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
From my phone..
The kids are out of school and boy did we start the summer vacation off with a bang? We've been almost constantly arguing with my almost 8 year old daughter. For some reason the last day of school she came home with a massive attitude and has been back talking and argumentative ever since, not quite sure were it came from either. Them to make it so much better she has decided on a daily basis to ask me to take her to he beach, one most of the days have not been that warm and two I'm not taking for children to the beach by myself during the summer!
Oh and as lovely as that has all been my two year olds sleep schedule is all jacked up (she was up a 3 am the other day and ready to begin the day!) I have no clue how it got so messed up maybe it's because she refuses to nap most days! The 5 year old is whining even more then normal but that's probably because her older sister is annoying the he'll out of her and anyone who gets in her path!! Wow I guess that just leaves the baby huh? Yeah she hasn't been to bad to deal with.
As you can see I've been having a rough time, just letting the stress of parenthood get to me I guess, I'll get through it but sometimes I just want to lock myself in my room and block it all out! Don't you? There's not shame in saying it gets to you, there's also no shame in saying that your kids aggregate you because I don't care what people say nobody's kids are perfect life is stressful and there is no way. Your family is always 100% happy and perfect and if you think that way then you are in complete denial!! I hate to say it like that but I have seen people complain on Facebook and such saying they hate seeing people complain about there kids but if you think about it, one I love my kids to death, but they are my life and my job if you can go on Facebook and twitter and complain about your job I can complain about my job!! Right?? Exactly!! So shut your pie hole!!
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!!
Catrina
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
2011 Golden Douche Bag Award...
Lets first be clear, drinking is fine (in moderation) but when you are drinking so much to the point were you think you have to hide your alcohol, then you've problems! Being on the computer is fine, playing games are fine but when you let your computer life take over your real life then you've got problems! And when you let your alcohol and computer life come first before your child and her mother then you have major problems!!
Last November I gave away the very first Douche Bag Award you can see that here. This years award goes to a man (or more like a boy) who puts his computer and alcohol before his girlfreind and thier child. This man has been given many chances to change his life style, and many of us had high hopes for him when their first child was born 4 months ago. But sadly he did not change only getting worse a neglecting not only his relationship but also his child. He's gone as far as to refuse to let his girlfreind use the car to go to the store to get formula and while she walked there, he was suppose to be watching the baby. He left the baby at home by herself in her crib with the door unlocked so that he could go to a freinds house to get drunk!! What kind of father does that?? He wouldn't allow his girlfreind to use the car and used the money that was suppose to go to her cellular phone bill to buy alcohol. Leaving her and thier child at home with no car and no phone in case of emergencies. She finally had enough, it was time to leave. You would figure someone would who is about to loose their family would fight a little more for his family. But he did not put up any kind of fight at all!
The final day of thier departure (when they got all of thier things out of the home) He came home (after he said he would not, so that they could get the rest of thier things out), He tried so hard to upset his ex, tried to keep her from getting her things out of his car, not because he thought she was going to take any thing of his but because instead of worring about loosing his child he went out and bought alcohol to get drunk and borrowed a freinds computer, so he would not miss anything on with his computer life! When he came home not once did he acknowledge that his child was there. He only acknowledged her after her mother mentioned that he ignored her since he got home, and only then did he care to give her any type of attention. Thankfully the child is to young to know what is going on. I hate to see things like this happen to a family, but in the long run it will be better for mother and child.
So yes the 2011 Douche Bag Award goes to the dead beat father who could give a shit less about his child and would prefer to spend all his time with the computer and alcohol!
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!
Catrina
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentines Day!
So I hope the rest of you have a Happy Valentines day!
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!
Catrina
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I just propositioned my husband for an iphone!
Not to long ago as the Hubby and I sat on the couch watching the devil tv with our family and neighbor... The neighbor asked... "Do you two every fight?" I almost, nope I defiantly laughed at the question. Of course we fight, just ask my mom she's witnessed a few of our fights. But at the same time they aren't really fights they are mostly just arguments. We exchange words back and forth, rarely raising our voices, only to either solve the matter right then or be mad at each other for a few hours until we both decide to no longer be mad.
I'll admit (and come on ladies you can admit it too) I overreact occasion. I rarely admit to it at the time, or I will admit it once the matter has been solve.
Our marriage is not perfect and really I don't know why the neighbor would believe that it was. We will never fight in front of other people (at least others that are not apart of the family). Of course for a while we were in a bind, things were not well between us. Mainly because the Hubby was unhappy at his job and I got the brunt of his anger when he got home, no folks not like that, he just would come home with an attitude and if some one gives me a 'tude I give one right back. So as you can imagine, that cause many arguments. But the Hubby got a new even better awesome job, we stopped stressing about money and things just started to calm down. The arguments became further apart and we began to get along much better.
Lets be honest money and stress can affect a marriage pretty badly, but you have to learn to work through the problems. For instance when he would stress about money and wonder why in the world it wasn't affecting me I reminded him that we have a beautiful healthy family and while yes money is an important thing its not the only thing and while we may not be able to live with out it, we will survive and get through whatever life throws at us. And we did, we learned to stop stressing as much about the little things and concentrated more on being a family. I've also learned that communication is key! I don't lie to my husband, even if I go shopping and buy something I know he might not be to happy about I always end up telling him (within a few hours). I don't know what it is I just don't feel the need to have any lies between us and really what good would they do us? No good, because if one of us found out the other was lieing about something, all its going to do is cause a fight (and not a little argument either). I'm not going to sit here and claim that I have a perfect marriage or if you listen to me and do what I say you will have a perfect marriage all I am trying to say is you have to work at it. Lieing isn't going to help anything, and fighting wont solve your problems, try to talk it out before the anger gets to bad and if that don't work, (I know it sounds a little high school but) right them a note telling them what is going on and why you are angry or upset. And don't forget to have a little fun between you, joke around, play wrestle, tickle each other. Act like you did when you were dating. Some times that's all you need to bring back a little spark and get things started again.
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!
Catrina
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
You have how many girls!?
I'm not saying that I think people should feel sympathetic for me because well it was our decision to have 4 children and it was god who decided we could handle 4 girls. Which for me some days yes I feel like having 4 girls is no big deal, and then there's those days (which is most of the time) when they are all moody and whiney and fighting. Then I think oh man if they are like this now, whats going to happen when they are all teenagers or all pmsing at the same time?
I still wonder all the time what it would be like to throw a little boy in the mix, just one, would he even out the chaos or make it worse?
There are always those special moments you get to share with your girls - some good, some bad. Like when they first start their menstrual cycles, Oh that will be a blast (not). Thinking about it now there will be a lot of experiences that the Hubby is going to be able to get out of because they are girl experiences (lucky bastard). Then there is going to be the first love, and in the same aspect the first heartbreak. Oh and to deal with the boys, at least I won't have to go through that alone, as I am sure the Hubby will be right there ready to beat on a kid for hurting his daughter. But then there is the sex talk, the pregnancy talk, the marriage talk. Oh wow all this times 4! I know for the Hubby the most stressful time (other then having a bunch of girls pmsing at the same time) will be when they all start dating, He'll probably be a nervous wreck. He already is now when Devin says she loves some boy in her class (and she's only 7!). He wasn't to happy when he found out she kissed a boy on the cheek in preschool, I thought that was cute. But then again she was really young, I know I will be a nervous wreck to when she gets a little older. Its funny being that Devin is the oldest kiddo, when we think about the future and what we will deal with we also think about Devin first. We forget that we will have to go through all this 4 times! I'm sure its mainly because we will go through all of it with her first. After that I am sure we will be pros.
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!
Catrina
No dating till you 30 is my policy (the Hubby says 40).
Friday, January 7, 2011
Randomnes is my life!
Thankfully today is my day off from exercising because I just don't have the energy or motivation to do them today. But I do need to go to the grocery store and get some food, I have ran out of things for smoothies and lunch stuff for the kids and we have no milk...(don't worry we just ran out last night, we have formula and things for the baby, but the big kids need stuff as well).
The kiddos do need to watch thier Your Baby Can Read video and review thier cards & Book.. Brooke needs to do her "Homework".
But I am just so darn tired! All of a sudden (now that Devin is home) the house has gotten loud. How is it that if only 1 or 2 are together its quite but you add one more and it gets really loud? They seem to just all of a sudden go straight into fighting. But I guess that is the life when you have 4 girls (such drama queens!).
Carly had her shots yesterday and she is not having a good day today. She is running a little fever and is slightly crabby, she has been sleeping alot today. I hope this does not last for to long, this is the first time since she was born that she hasn't even been slightly sick (other then her acid reflux).
Well I guess that is the Randomness of my day...
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!
Catrina
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Feeling a bit Underdimeciated..
If anyone reading this is a stay at home mom (or dad), then you know that your job is never done ! I've admitted before that I am a pretty lazy mom (I'm not proud of that but damn I mention it enough you would think I was proud, believe me I'm not), but taking care of my children is number 1 on my list. Its everything else that gets neglected (ie housework). Since we moved in with my parents, I have slacked on house chores and other such things because my mom does a lot of that stuff. But I am doing more because I realized one I should be helping my mom out because this is her house and sometimes a lot of mess is from my kids, and two eventually we will be moving back into our own home and I will be the only one doing it all. You know a stay at homes mom continues into the night when the bread winner is sleeping peacefully with uninterrupted sleep. I honestly do not remember a time when I slept straight through the night without interruption. So every day I am pretty exhausted, I try to nap when the babies are napping but that does not always happen because sometimes I have housework to do or am trying to get a shower. This is not a post about oh whoa is me. This is actually about the fact that there are times when I feel under appreciated.
People think all I do is sit around all day, that I do nothing. Yeah because the clothes wash, fold and put themselves away. The dishes do the same. The beds make themselves, the bedrooms and bathrooms are cleaned by magic, the kids all feed and change themselves. Devin gets herself up, dressed, ready for school and on the bus. Carly gets her own bottles and changes her own diaper. Kara feeds herself and changes her own diaper as well. Brooke takes care of herself and drives herself to school. In the middle of the night when one of the kids have had a nightmare or are sick and in pain they take care of themselves. I do nothing at all!
Okay so no one said I was that lazy but you know how families are you joke around and some people go a little to far with their jokes. I can take a joke, but I can't stand when people assume I do nothing at all! Even if its just a joke when no one ever tells you that they appreciate you or that they are proud of you for all that you do.
There are some people (who will remain nameless) that think that I sleep in till noon every day! Yeah because that happens all the time! I have 4 children and I sleep in till noon, again some how my children manage to get to school on their own, and take care of themselves. I think that is the thing that irritates me the most.
Okay maybe this post did turn into an oh whoa is me... Sorry bout that!
Have an Oh So Wonderful Night!
Catrina
Monday, December 20, 2010
Its Causes More then just Heartache...
Loosing a child to Miscarriage or Stillbirth can cause more then just Heartache.... Recently we have dealt with alot of health problems in my family but most recently we've had to deal with watching some family members have heart attacks which is very scary as anyone who has had a family member have one knows.
Yesterday as I was going to check my email an article on the aol news feed pops up that caught my eye for more then one reason.
The title read "Repeated Miscarriage Quintuples Heart Attack Risk". It scares me to think that my chances of Heart Attack has increased even more now. Heart Problems run in my family so I'm already at increased risk for Heart Attack. But According to the article.
"Compared to women who never had a miscarriage, women who had more than three were about five times more likely to ever suffer heart attack, the study found. Have just one stillbirth more then tripled the risk of heart attack."
The article also states though:
"Women who have had a miscarriage -- or even more than one -- should not be unduly concerned if they don't have other risk factors for heart disease. less than 1 percent of the women in the study had a heart attack."
I don't think I would be so shocked (and a bit frightened) if we haven't had to deal with this lately but after dealing with it, I think thats why it scares me a little more. Thankfully my family members are okay (if you were wondering).
I guess its a good thing that I plan to take even better care of myself once the new year begins. So hopefully I can prevent any future problems from accuring.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
The Season of Giving...
This year I have decided as well that I am going to be teaching my children a lesson about the holidays.. Its not all about getting presents. I admit I have some pretty greedy children, the Hubby and I tried to prevent this when they were little but our oldest managed to get spoiled (and believe me we tried our damnedest to prevent it). So this year as a lesson the this holiday season is more about giving then receiving I will have my children take some money out of their spending money boxes and donate it to good cause. I will give them a few choices of causes and let them choose which cause they want to donate to.
They got new coats this year and we will be donating them as well to some children who need warm coats this winter.
I've said it in a previous post but I'll say it again. I use to be all about me I loved getting presents and that's all I cared about. But having children as made me more excited about giving gifts and such things then receiving them. And of course what a great lesson to teach your children right? Their are people out there less fortunate then us and its time for my children to learn how to help those less fortunate then ourselves.
Are you going to be giving this year? If so please feel free to share!
Have an Oh So Wonderful Day!
Catrina
Friday, November 26, 2010
Oh I love my bed!
I am Thankful for a comfy bed! Last night Devin requested that my our cousin Dimitri stay the night, which we were fine with because well we've never had issues with him staying before. Well for some reason last night once it was time for bed he was very unhappy, calling for his daddy. So we obviously felt badly that is was so upset. But anyways my mom took him down stairs to sit with her for a while and he fell asleep, I put him to bed and he slept for a while. Well about 2:45Am or so I heard some noise and come to find out its Kara and Dimitri at the bedroom door both awake, So I put Kara back in her bed and then begin to put Dimitri back in bed when he starts crying for his daddy again. I cuddled him and tried to make him feel better and once he calmed down I layed him back down and tried to walk out of the room. Well that was not happening he did not want me to leave. So I had to once again put Kara back in her bed and then comfort Dimitri, I got to the point were I just sat next to him on the bed and he was quite, but by then Kara wanted me to hold her, so of course I did. Finally I just broke down ( I was SO tired) and I grabbed one of the pillow pets and Brookies blankey and I layed on the floor and Kara decided to lay with me as well, which really was not a big deal except Kara decided to ask me about every 5-10 minutes "Mama what are you doing?" "trying to sleep Kara now go to sleep" to which she would let out a whine. Finally about 5:45Am I got tired of this and not to mention the fact that my back was hurting so I put Kara in her bed (and she went to sleep thankfully) and I got back into my Oh So Comfy bed!! It felt SO GOOD!!
So there you have it...
Have a Great Day!
Catrina
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I'm excited what can I say
But as far as being a lazy mom goes I've got some motivation. The prospect of possibly finding our forever house! You know what a forever house is don't you? Its that house that you can see spending the rest of your life in!
I don't want to get into the details to much (since that would be letting you in way to much) but we found out that my grandma's neighbor is thinking about putting his house on the market so if we can get the owner to agree with our offer we could have our forever house! Its just a matter of speaking with the owner and seeing if he will go for it. I am so praying he does! So that is my motivation, I have been cleaning more and trying to straighten up, I even cooked a meal I have never cooked before last night because well think about it if we end up moving I have to make sure that I clean and cook all the time again. I've been slacking because my mommy has been taking care of everything, well except cooking we all do that in the house. But if we move I will have to do all if not most of the cooking (since David may cook a meal or two). I am just so excited, which I shouldn't be because I am getting my hopes up and will probably be disappointment in the end. But until we know what is for sure going to happen I am excited and motivated! But I am still exhausted and tired! So I think I will need to start going to bed earlier. Maybe if this happens I will not only have the motivation to stop being so lazy but to exercise and other such things that I want for myself but just don't have the motivation or energy for.
I know its a matter of pushing yourself to do things but I just don't have the energy to push myself most of the time.
I can't wait to see if we've got some good news in our future :) We'll see....
Have a Great Day!Saturday, November 6, 2010
With this Ring......
When you get married you say your vows, that in a way are kinda like a contract wouldn't you think?
"I,
Now when you were married these may not have been the exact words that you uttered but they were in some way close in resemblance were they not? You vow to love and to cherish till death do you part, you vow your honor and faithfulness. Yet so many people take these vows for granted and go about there business how they please. This is my blog and my opinion right? So here it is... You vowed your love for this person and if for some reason you no longer feel that you can keep your vow, then the only solution I see is divorce, whether you believe in divorce or not do you really see it appropriate to continue your marriage and be with someone else? As the old adage goes " you can not have your cake and eat it too". You must choose one or the other, can you continue to love the one you are with, the one you vowed your life to on the day that you wed? Or has for one reason or another your love faded for this person and you can no longer keep your vows. Whatever the reason may be doesn't the person you married deserve the truth? The way I see it is Lies hurt worse then the Truth. Doesn't that person deserve to know the truth so that they can get on with thier life? This goes for whether or not you are married though too, it doesn't matter if you are just dating or not if you can't find any reason to be faithful to that person then there is no reason why you should continue to be with that person.

Sunday, September 5, 2010
I really should be compensated for my opinion!
My Oh So Boring Life is getting a little more Oh So Busy Lately. With getting ready for school, taking care of a newborn, 22 month old, 4 year old and 7 year old. Trying to clean and keep the house looking half way decent. Lucky for me its my moms house and she HATES a messy house but I am trying to help out the best I can.
I played a game of "ping pong" as my mom calls it last night. Yep thats right when I wanted to be sleeping I was running between my room and Kara's room for about and house at least because everytime I would get Carly calmed down and back to sleep Kara would start crying and whining for whatever reason ( I think because she didn't get a good nap last night) and then as soon as I would go to take care of Kara, Carly would start crying again because she just wanted to be held (I think). So I finally gave in a turned Kara's tv on so I could get some rest. I'm exhausted! But then again what parent isn't?
I don't know about you but we have just 2 more days till school start. I can't believe Devin is a 2nd grader already! They grow up so quickly! Just like I can't believe my Brookie is 4 and will be in preschool this year (and start kindergarten next year), and Kara will be 2 in November and Carly will be a month old next week! It seems like time goes by slowly then all of sudden before you know it your kids are growing up right before your eyes and you wonder were the time went!
I'm glad I get to share this experience with my Hubby, and now with my parents I'm glad they get to be closer to the girls right now and see them in their every day life and watch them grow before thier eyes.
I have to attend to Carly right now ....
Have a Great Day!
Catrina
Monday, August 30, 2010
2 weeks have past...

Today Carly Mae is 16 days old, she is back up to her birth weight and doing well. She finally pooped twice yesterday (after only pooping once in 4 days). I am enjoying my time with her and so happy that she is finally here. The older girlies are enjoying thier baby sister has well. Kara being that she is only 21 1/2 months old is doing very well with Carly and loves her baby sister and even helps mommy out with throwing away diapers and such. She loves to kiss her baby sister and hold her. The older girls love her as well but I think the novelty of having a new baby in the house has worn off for them, because they are no longer begging me to hold her constantly although they do want to touch her alot.
Since Carly is here and its now time for me to start loosing weight again I will be trying to keep up with Fighting the Fat Fridays, obviously I'm not aiming for my prepregnancy weight (with Carly at least) But I still have alot of weight to take off. I'll give all my stats and such on Friday to jump start the new Fighting the Fat Friday. Guess what though? My life is not as Oh So Boring as it normally is... with doctors appointments and errands and a new baby in the house things have been pretty hectic. Thankfully I have my mom to help me out and keep me sane! But speaking of my newly busy life I must go I have bath's to give and errands to run today... Not sure yet if I want to risk taking all 4 kids with me though as its usually pretty hectic with all 4!
Wish me luck!
Have a Wonderful Day!
Catrina
Monday, August 9, 2010
Still need a babysitter!
Anyways so that was my Saturday. Sunday we did nothing, I ended up taking a nap and the hubby took the kids outside to help him wash his truck. Once he was done we ended up taking the 56' for a ride looking at houses for sale and got stranded at the gas station. The damn battery went dead! So we had to wait for my dad to come give us a jump start to get home. It was nice to go for a ride.
This week I don't know what is in store for us. You know a mothers job is never done so obviously I will be taking care of the kids but other then that I am not sure what else I will be doing other then waiting for this kiddo to make her appearance (waiting impatiently I must add) The Hubby's birthday is this week so yeah we will be spending time with daddy on his birthday (and hopefully having a baby the next day), I know I have said it before we've been hoping that the baby would come the day after the hubby's birthday because Devin was born the day after mine. So hopefully Thursday I will be delivering a baby, If not I have a doctor appointment on Thursday and we will be scheduling my induction that day (hopefully it will be within a day or so of my appointment) I am definatly hoping that by Saturday this kiddo will be here, but I guess we'll have to wait and see. Its definatly getting harder and harder to sleep and get comfortable and move around. I know I am not the only mommy to experiance all this but guess what? I'm going to bitch if I want to! You know why? Because this is my blog!
Are you wondering how cloth diapering is going with Kara? Well we are now on day 4 and doing good, it takes a bit longer to get them dry but other then that cleaning and such has been pretty easy (even with the poopies). When we go out we put disposables on her but at home (which is were we are usually at). Kara love showing off her new diapers to, she loves the designs. Devin actually wants to get involved with changing her diaper too but unfortunitly the kid wiggles to much and Devin can't get the diapers tight enough. So maybe she'll be able to help with the new baby.
Well its off to take care of the kiddos and clean a bit....
Have a Great Day!
Catrina
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Saving money & Doctor appointments
So yesterday I took the plunge (as nervous as I was) sorry I know that in the long run we will save tons of money BUT I was just very apprehensive about spending that much money in one purchase. So I did it.... I bought 16 small diapers and 16 medium diapers to last us about 18 months.

This is just an example of one of the diapers I purchased, they had many designs but I couldn't get the picture off thier website to show one of the even cuter designs. I'm excited and can't wait to get the diapers in to see them, obviously we can't try them out right away since baby isn't here yet, unless she comes within the next 5-10 days (since thats what the shipping is on them) haha. Hey you never know she could show up within that time period since well I'm in pain and such. We'll see what happens within the next few weeks. I am anxious to meet this little girl and so ready for her to be here! I'm excited becuase I got my Belly Bandit in the mail the other day so I'm excited to try that out! The anticipation is getting to me! There are so many things that I am excited about right now.... I really can not wait to start breastfeeding, does that sound weird? I really want to make this work no matter what this time around (since we had so many failures with my other kiddos), and I know that will help us save money on formula (another way to save money), then we will see how it goes but I have been possibly thinking about making my own baby food. But we will see when we come to that road.....
Of course I am not looking forward to all the doctors appointments in the next few weeks. Mine I'm fine with because that means I am so much closer to having this baby. But Brookie has her Physical Therapy appointments and Devin has an ENT appointment I believe thats it but thats still 4 doctors appointments in the next month for my kids then to top it off I have my weekly OB appointments and have to have this baby somewhere in there too. I am so greatful that I have my mom to help me out with all this (I know I have said that alot lately, at least to myself I have).
Oh speaking of doctors appointments, Devin and Brooke got their teeth cleaned the other day at the Dentist (on Thursday) and then on Friday we had to go back so that Devin could get 3 cavities filled and 1 tooth sealed. That kiddo is going to cost me alot in dental bills. She's only 7 and had the 3 cavities filled, and the one tooth sealed, she was suppose to get 3 more sealed but we just couldn't afford all that after the cleaning and the other stuff on Friday. But to top it off the kid has one tooth that has come in scarred because for some reason the enamel didn't form correctly on that tooth, then back when she was 2 1/2 she fell and shoved her front baby teeth into her adult teeth so the one tooth is scarred from that. Then... (yeah I know) her front 4 adult teeth that have come in are very jagged and will need to be filed down to make them straight across. I think that is all, there is so much to remember, you tend to forget somethings. But it has definatly got her more aware of the health of her teeth (that we are constantly nagging her about). I hate to do it because I love our dentist (I've been going there since I was Devins age) but they are so expensive we may be looking at finding a new dentist were we are not paying so much money all the time.
Well its time for me to go...
Have a Great Day!
Catrina
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Do you want to hear more?
So there you have it, more to the story and alot of the reason why I feel the way I do about the sperm donor. I hope this clears things up more.
Have a Great Day!
Catrina
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
What would you do?
Do you Facebook? If you don't you are certainly lucky I am super addicted to Facebook, don't ask me why I just am. I get on the computer in the morning and other then checking my email its the first thing I do and then I sit there, like I'm waiting for someone interesting to come on and talk to me, but is there anyone that ever talks to me. Every so often I get a freind or so who actually wants to conversate with me but mainly Me, my Mother, Father and Hubby joke with eachother (because we are sitting in the same room or same house talking to eachother on Facebook, I know pathedic right?)
So anyways just recently I found someone on FB (facebook) that I don't particularly like for many reasons, mainly because when the Sperm Donor got arrested for overdue child support she blamed me and had the nerve to call me and tell me to fix it (get him out of jail), when in fact it had nothing to do with me, well okay he owed my mom child support for me but I had nothing to do with the arrest it was the State that went after him for not paying his child support not me. I wasn't very happy about that one obviously and neither was the lawyer that was going after the sperm donor for the child support. I checked out her FB page, yeah I was curious to see what the sperm donor looked like since I haven't seen him in about 5 years at least and the only reason why I seen him was because I went to his trial, did he even attempt to come see me afterwards since he was in my state (he lives out of state)? No he went and visited a freind of his and then went back home. I haven't spoke to him in probably that long either. The closest he has ever been to my children is seeing pictures that I send my grandmother (his mother), he has never actually personally met any of his grandchildren. You probably wondering when I will make my point aren't you? Don't worry I will eventually get to it. I asked my step sister to befreind me and FB I have no problems with her and never had we actually were really close when they lived around the block from us when I was younger, this being before they moved out of state and never spoke to me again, actually the funny thing is that we are freinds on FB (and Myspace) and yet we still haven't spoke to eachother I am starting to wonder if there is a point of having her on my freinds list.
Well her mother (remember I hate her) asked to be my freind on FB the other day I denied her I have no reason to be freinds with her even if its a stupid internet website, I had other issues with her in the past posing as my father and writing me and stuff online and through snail mail. Thinking about it sure maybe she was writing for him but either way I don't want contact with her. whether she is writing for him or not. Well today I signed on to FB and all of sudden the sperm donor has a FB page (he didn't until a few days ago, mmm like right after I denied his wife on FB). I was conflicted what do I do? Do I accept him and see if he (probably she) attempts to contact me or do I deny him as well and not give them a chance to make me feel even shitter about the situation? After consulting a few people (2 people if you must know and the two peoples who's opinions mean the most to me), they felt it wasn't a good idea but knew that no matter what it is ultimately up to me (which I knew that, no matter what anyone says it is in the end my decision). I have a Father remember he has been there for me for the past 15 years, he may not have been the one who helped to create me but he has been the one who helped to raise me!
Okay so finally to my point.... What would do? Would you accept his freind request (you know the sperm donor who has barely been there for who knows how long ( I seriously lost count of the years). Or hows this... When I went through my nervous breakdown and postpartum depression back in 2009, my grandmother (his mother) told him to call me because I could really use some support and he never tried to contact me at all. Jeeze what I am trying to do convince you all why I denied his freind request or convince myself as to why I did it?
I know that if some of my family are reading this they may wonder why I say these things or feel this way, but if you knew the heartache I have went through growing up trying to put effort into making someone love me the way I have with him you would understand. I tried for many years to stay in touch with him and keep him involved in my life but my efforts were, well like his FB request Denied. If you don't remember I did put a little bit of background as to why I feel the way I do in this post. I have yet to decide whether I will post more about this part of my life although I do have something that I wrote a long time ago about my Father, that puts more of my feeling in perspective.
I think I am going to have to finish this later in another post as I have a cranky little 20 month old at me feet yelling at me.
Have a Great Day!
Catrina

